I’ve read a fridge magnet that says ‘good friends are like wine they take time’ or something like that anyway.
It’s odd I’ve not really thought about how easy it was to talk to someone when I was feeling fed up or down until I couldn’t, how often I phone someone to share the small things in life or to see how they are doing when stuff is going on for them….. you know the things that add up to make friendship an ongoing relationship. Right now I miss that ability. It’s frustrating not being able to contact anyone or even hear their voices for a few minutes. I know some people haven’t understood my desire to make more friends when I have some damn good close ones but I’ve never seen friendships as being limited. I don’t have a limited amount of love I can give to people or a fixed number I can be close to….. though some are obviously MORE close than others. I like having friends, I can learn from them about how they see the world, give them love when they need it and have fun when life is going well. Going out for days, chatting over coffee, enjoying time,just doing nothing together, food fights, ‘walks’ home from the pub, lazying on sunny days, getting dressed up and going out, being there when I’m needed and having a house full of people who are hungry…… being part of people’s lives is a priviledge and I appreciate my friends. It was hard to say goodbye knowing that some people will find it harder to keep in touch than others and right now I miss you lot.
The last few weeks have had so much jammed into them and so many big things…it’s really odd only being able to talk to Martin about them….. not that that is a problem but I like chatting to my friends and he isn’t always able to listen. Oh and let’s face it I have enough ‘talking’ in me for more than one persons ‘listening’. I also have to bear in mind that Martin has been with people all day and chatted to his friends so he may just want quiet when he gets in.
I have managed to speak to some people …thanks for ringing…… and you have no idea how much it’s meant to me. Just hearing a friendly voice that I can relax with…. getting to know people is hard even when they are great but old friends are like the clothes you slob about it you both know where the worn patches are but you don’t care…new friends well you have to wear each other in and get used to the labels.
I have met a few people who have been wonderful and are helping me to adjust (particularly one who helped me with supplies…and read my blog!)
I’m praying that in time I will make more friends, good friends that I can relax with and learn from but right now I do miss you lot back home and look forward so much to when we have a phone that will ring you so I can catch up with you.
We are going to try a new church tomorrow….. but I have to say after this last year I’m nervous of attending anywhere.
I hope you are all doing well and I WILL see you next year when I come back for a bit…though any visitors are welcome after 22/09…or even 09/22… I have to get used to it now!